Home › Criticism › Being versus feeling
Being versus feeling: feeling is not a fact
A man *can* feel like a woman — but that does not make him a woman. The difference between "being" and "feeling" is not a detail; it is the heart of the gender discussion. A girl with anorexia genuinely feels fat — and is thin. No one will validate her feelings by helping her lose weight. With gender, precisely that confusion is enforced as truth.
The semantic slip
In normal language, we distinguish "X feels Y" from "X is Y". Someone who feels unhappy does not necessarily have to be unhappy. Someone who feels too fat at 50 kg is not too fat — has a distorted body image. Someone who feels rich without money has a feeling, not wealth. With gender, this elementary distinction is abandoned: feeling becomes being, and whoever names the difference is called a hater.
The counterexample: anorexia
Anorexia nervosa is a paradigm. The patient genuinely and intensely experiences themselves as too fat, even when severely underweight. No serious clinician goes along with this feeling; treatment consists precisely of correcting the perception to the facts—not the other way around. The same applies to body integrity dysphoria (BID): the desire for the amputation of healthy limbs is not granted. Only with gender is the opposite model—confirm the feeling, cut into the body—presented as a concern. See also denial of reality .
The phenomenology of feeling
What does "feeling like a woman" mean? A man who has never been a woman has no access to the female domain of experience. At most, he has an idea of what he *thinks* a woman feels — a stereotype. Women do not become women by dressing femininely, wearing makeup, or adopting a submissive attitude; those role expectations are precisely what feminism fought against. In many cases of adult onset, autogynephilia is a better explanation for the "woman experience" than a secular soul. See Blanchard typology .
Category error
Gilbert Ryle identified the "category error": placing an idea in the wrong logical category. "Being a woman" belongs in the category of biological and social facts. "Feeling like a woman" belongs in the category of subjective experiences. The second does not imply the former — just as "feeling like I am flying" does not imply that I am flying. See also ontology of identity and circular reasoning .
The damage of elevating feeling to fact
When feelings are given the public status of fact, others are forced to accept unverifiable claims as true. This underlies puberty blockers in children, mastectomies in healthy girls, legal self-identity, and the wiping out of the category of woman. Criticism is dismissed as hate and silenced. Transition does not heal — detransitioners return with irreversible damage because their feelings were validated rather than treated.
Yes. The problem is not the feeling, but the demand that others acknowledge that feeling as a fact and base medical interventions on it.
Social roles exist, but cannot be changed by self-declaration alone — and no role makes someone a biological woman. See social constructionism .
Sources
- Ryle G. (1949). The Concept of Mind . Hutchinson.
- Stock K. (2021). Material Girls . Fleet.
- Byrne A. (2024). Trouble With Gender . Polity.
- Levine SB (2022). Reflections on the clinician's role. Archives of Sexual Behavior .